We're Not Young

This parody that Chaya showed me is priceless. Since I'll soon be entering my thirties, it's appropriate, right?

Orcas Island Camping

Last weekend Kai and I went camping at Moran State Park on Orcas Island. Unfortunately our trip got cut short by one thing or another, but what I did get to experience of it was spectacular. Would love to go back there some day (just make sure you don't leave on a Friday -- the ferry wait is ridiculous).


View more pictures here.

Hit a Wall, Found the Right Path

...after a mere 15 years. That passion (obsession?) of mine seems like a lifetime ago, and its realization is quite different from my initial (albeit confused) vision, but it nearly brings me to tears to see how that interest may come full circle...especially after burying it a decade ago.

Wait, let me back up.

Imagine a 15-year-old Jami spending part of her summer leisure time devouring every bit of information she could get from a biology textbook (mind you, this was before the class started), and you get an idea of how fascinated I was by the subject. Learning about the biological processes of living organisms and how it's all interrelated -- evolution, cell biology, ecology, genetics -- I absorbed whatever I could. I took two pretty intense biology courses in high school and loved every minute of it. I found great pleasure in the study of life, as anyone who knew me in at the time could confirm. In fact, I loved it so much that I chose Case Western Reserve University specifically for that reason.

And those of you who've only known me post-university are probably wondering how that turned into a computer science degree.

The problem was, quite simply, I didn't know what to do with it. I was (okay, I still am) a nerd who could only relate to the heavily academic aspects of learning, and like many graduating high school students, I didn't know how to turn a general interest into a career. I got accepted into a fancy-pants private university, which is supposed to be a remarkable achievement that one wouldn't consider questioning, and so I plowed full speed ahead into an undergraduate degree at CWRU. I thought a prestigious career as a geneticist was in my future, but as the unguided reality of my situation sunk in the first year of college, along with barely passing my second semester of chemistry, I started to panic. Could I really make it as a scientist? This was the path I was going down, even if I didn't understand how that would pan out as a living. I didn't have any mentors, older siblings, or college-educated parents to give me guidance. I was confused as ever, since I knew how much I liked the subject, yet I couldn't see how this would develop into a livelihood.

That was when, at the end of my freshman year, as I was buckling under the pressure to officially pin down my major, I decided to focus on a subject that would lead to a well-paying job. And so it was that I switched my comp sci minor to a major, and the rest is history. I suppose it would have been a good career move if I could have hacked it in that field, but the truth is, this choice wasn't any better, and I was still just as clueless about what to do once I graduated. This wasn't a technical program; it was theoretical program designed for post-grad research. I had made another huge mistake, and for what it's worth, I didn't truly realize how screwed I was until I was only a few classes away from graduating. So I stuck with it until the end. Yay for perseverance?

And this is why I didn't have any job prospects when I moved out to Seattle. After a summer of job searching, I was fortunate enough to fall into the unexpected role of editing novels, which suited me quite well for the first few years. Being a contractor is never particularly pleasant, but the flexible hours gave me the time I needed to sort out a lot of neglected aspects of my marriage, sexuality (and the whirlwind that came with that), independence, personality, upbringing, etc. It was a much-need time for introspection and moving around and figuring myself out, but now it's time to take my career off the back burner. I'm almost 30 now, and I'm past due for a change. I can't work in this business forever.

No, it's more than just a vague need for a change. I hit a fucking wall.

I can't keep going on, barely getting by, with a job that somewhat fits me, but is not sustainable. I'm tired of being chained to a computer. I want something practical, outside, hands on -- a job that brings meaning to my life. Get busy living, or get busy dying, and all that jazz.

Within the last couple of months, I've allowed myself to start exploring the idea of going back to school -- and doing it right this time. I always told myself that I would have to pay off my original student loans completely before taking on more debt, and while I've made a decent amount of progress (given the circumstances), I just can't keep putting my life on hold because of debt. I poked around at some community colleges, particularly Edmonds and Lake Washington Institute of Technology (LWIT), this time with a much clearer vision of what I'm looking for. The environmental horticulture program at LWIT called out to me, and after investigating the curriculum and speaking to the head of the department, I've found what I want to do. This will give me the opportunity to work intimately with plants and learn about how to make organic farming not just a dream, but a real possibility. My experiments with gardening have been great, but I want to take it to the next level.

It may have taken me half my life to figure it out (boy, it feels weird saying it like that), but I now have the proper context and experience to understand what I want to do with biology. Sometimes life's funny that way.

Wily Wednesdays - Easter Eggs

This is what happens when you wait until the last minute to dye eggs and decide to use a cheap kit. The process and materials were sort of awful, even if the result wasn't half bad (of course, it looks nothing like it's supposed to).

Getting in Shape: I love me some data.

Until I was about 27, weight gain was never an issue, and boy did I take advantage of it. My worst eating habits were probably in college, when I was addicted to caffeine (in the form of Pepsi and Mountain Dew) and second suppers of Ramen and macaroni and cheese. Also consider the long, sleepless, miserable nights of debugging code and you have a recipe for an incredibly unhealthy lifestyle. But I suppose my youth saved me, and the wear and tear hardly showed on the outside.

I at least cut out the soda habit after graduating, but that never stopped me from eating portions that were far bigger than I ever needed (ask any of my friends who knew me then). And it wasn't just quantity; I still didn't pay much attention to what I was eating. I knew it would likely catch up with me eventually, but so long as I was hovering around 100 pounds, I never took those concerns seriously, and even thought it was a good thing to consume as many calories as possible. It was always hard to pass up a good burger (especially if it was the size of my head), and starch has always been a weakness for me (fancy some pasta, anyone?).

Well, it did catch up with me. My metabolism finally slowed down, or maybe it was a change in lifestyle and eating habits, but I've gained more weight than I feel comfortable with. At first it was nice, and actually seemed healthy. But then the pounds kept increasing, and I realized this trend is just going to continue if I don't shape up. Yes, I don't like the puffiness and the way the extra flab looks, but it goes deeper than that. I feel sluggish...heavy...tired. It made me realize that my whole eating-exercise-sleeping routine needs to be scrutinized. Time to live a little more mindfully. Time for a lifestyle change.

Right now, it's a work in progress. It's unrealistic and unsustainable to demand a world-shaking change of myself, but I'm slowly introducing some healthier habits in my life. Some weeks are better than others, especially when stress and deadlines get in the way, but there's one thing I really want to emphasize:

Data is paramount! I know I'm stating the obvious, but it's worth repeating. (And who doesn't love a good chart?) In late January I started using an exercise and food tracker on MedHelp.org, and while I was at it, I decided to start logging my sleep every day (which includes hours, type of sleep, quality of sleep, whether or not I used any treatments like Tylenol PM, etc.). I've been bad about keeping up with the food tracker, because I'm still not very good at estimating calories and nutritional information of foods that don't come with labels, and thus get a little lazy. At this point I'm not aiming for absolute accuracy, but the simple act of starting a food diary of sorts gets you to consciously think about what you're putting in your body.

Again, this is basic, obvious stuff, but I've never tried it before. One thing I've been really good at updating (since it's so easy) is my sleep schedule. As you can imagine (yeah, what time am I writing this post...?), it's all over the bloody place. But something changes when you actually see it spelled out in front of you with clear numbers and charts and trends. It boosts your motivation and focus. You're no longer blind to the process, and it's easier to figure out where things are going wrong -- and what things are working.

Anyway, I'm just excited about this new development and felt like sharing.

EDIT: A friend mentioned watching this video, which I love for its simplicity and inspiration:

Wily Wednesdays - What comes after badgers?

My dear, neglected blog, I haven't forgotten about you. The exciting news is that I'm working on an old computer tonight, which means I've found all sorts of random goodies to revive. What fun! I forgot about a lot of this stuff. Before February has zipped past me, let's get something posted here already. How about...a stained-glass psychedelic mushroom. What? Yeah, I have no idea.

Wily Wednesdays - Crochet Hat with Brim

A not-half-bad attempt at crocheting a hat without a pattern. I believe it's one of my first flying-by-the-seat-of-my-pants projects.

Wily Wednesday - Yule Crafts 2011

It's time to reveal what was keeping me madly busy during the last two weeks of December (and part of 2012). I wanted to wait until I gave away most of the gifts before writing this post, which is why it's late. I had big plans for Yule, but I procrastinated too much, and technically I'm not even finished. Anyway, here's a sampling of the 2011 Yule crafts:

• New clothes for Bender!
• Head scarves for Kai (in the background)
• Paw stockings
• Catnip fishies
• Plush Angry Bird (Kai's obsessed with these guys)
• Winter-themed FSMs (I only had the tree on hand, but I think the Santa hat is my favorite.)
• Polymer clay tree ornaments
• Jars of homemade blackberry, raspberry, and blueberry jams (I'm most proud of the blackberries -- we picked them in our own neighborhood. Doesn't get much more local than that!)
• Homemade soaps, lip balm, and lotions.
• Geeky Perler Bead magnets (I never did these as a kid, so I had to try them out.)
• Oatmeal fudge (a recipe from Kai's mother)